J J Hanna
Some Things we all Need to Hear on Occasion
There are a few things I'm realizing that I and most people need to hear more often, affirmations that we are okay, that we're allowed to do or feel different things. For example, I am allowed to be happy. As this is most people's goal in life, this doesn't seem like something we should need to be reminded of. However, I know I often feel guilty for feeling happy and content in my life when my friends are struggling, because how dare I feel good about life when they're fighting with their boyfriend? Reminding myself that it is okay and alright to be happy is one of the best things I could have done for myself, it freed me from unnecessary social restrictions. I am allowed to have clothes that fit me and make me feel pretty. This also seems like a no-brainer, but it's important to remember. Part of being healthy comes from loving yourself, not in a narcissistic way, but in an "I'm comfortable in my own skin" kind of way. It is impossible to love yourself in this way if what you put on your body doesn't fit either physically of emotionally. If it's not your style, don't wear it. And if your style changes, that is also completely okay. That is allowed. You are allowed to grow and change. You don't have to be who you were a year ago. I deserve to be loved and cared for. Again, this is a simple concept. Of course I deserve to be loved and cared for. Everyone deserves to be cared for. That looks different for different people. For example, after a long week, I need to be hugged and cuddled. But, I also need to have sufficient time doing what I need to do in order to rest. When I need more "cave time" than other times, often I feel selfish for taking it. But there is nothing wrong with self care. Without taking care of yourself, you can't take care of and love other people. Is there an extent to which it is selfish to close yourself off in your room and be distant from your family? Yes. There is a certain point at which it is detrimental to both people to not spend time with each other. But it is completely alright and necessary to take care of yourself, too. So next time you start to wonder if the good things in life are okay, don't worry. They are good. It's okay to care about yourself. It's okay to dress yourself in such a way that makes you feel the most like who you want to be. It's okay to seek people out and receive the love and care you require. You are not a nuisance for wanting love. Just remember that all of these things go both ways. Everyone deserves these things, so be respectful of other people while not denying yourself the self care you need. Our society is very good at shaming people for having life going well for them. Don't be ashamed of being happy. You deserve it.